I posted a blog entry not so long ago called 'Lonesome'. At that part of my life I was very lonely. Now that has changed, my perception of loneliness has changed a little.
There is a whole inside me, because my family have fallen to pieces. I have to choose who to make happy. Do I choose my mum who has been there 17 years for me, worked shitty jobs (and still does) to keep a roof over my head... well words cannot describe how much I love her. or do I choose the male influence that has been there the majority (not all) but the majority. The man that has... well words don't describe how much I love him.
The choice that I will make in a split second means nothing in the short term and well nothing in the long term. What I need to do is grow a pair... be selfish and keep low for a while, Think about myself for once. WOW I have never said that before, think about myself... Feels good, gives me some power. I am an individual and a great one at that! I am Jacob Hill, and I tell you what! I hate split seconds. You can never make up your mind in a split second and not regret it so thats why I am not choosing I love both of you.
God Damn I hate split seconds.
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