Outlook and perspectives

So During the later part of 2009, I took on the motto, ' Don't Talk it Out, Work it Out ', that would be true today if I could be willing to get up and do it. However it seams that I am being drained of everything that I do, mentally and physically. What I once enjoyed, has now either become obsolete or a chore, and this is something I do not like at all and feel powerless against.

To kick this rant off I want to look at my role in the ATC (Air Training Corps). My rank is Sergeant (Sgt) and I command a small flight (Group) of cadets (Ignorant, spotty, ungrateful little teenagers). I also run the squadron newsletter and website, teach Media Communications and take the role of NCO adjutant (Pen Pusher).

I love doing all of this and even if I get through to one cadet then my job there is done. I aim to build confidence and pass on knowledge, but I don't like being made a fool or taken for granted. Surprisingly I don't feel like that due to the cadets, (don't get me wrong I do sometimes) but the main culprits are the adult NCO (Non-commisioned-officers) team and the office themselves (The ones that look after the Sgt's).

So why has the office Peeved me off? I recently applied for the position of Flight Sergeant (Flt Sgt) along with two other people, we have waited well over 5 months or so to find out who has got what it takes. Unlike the other two candidates I don't lock cadets into lockers and fart... Also known in the trade as the gas chamber..., or pile mattresses on top of a cadet until he screams, and believe me, this happened! I am there for the welfare of the cadets, making sure that every child there get the right to learn and have fun.

To me, its a no brainer who to promote. What do you think?

I look at what I do, and then compare it to what they do; and I think to myself... why am I doing this? I am tired and fed up with the amount of work! There must be a reason why it has taken this long to reach to a decision. The massive choice between a Sgt who does loads or work and looks after the cadets, or one that is so inappropriate at any given point or one that has lost passion with the ATC and himself but instead of hiding it he really shows it...?? Do not get me wrong, these lads are my mates but right now I am lost... Lost that what I do seams to be pointless.

Now to generalise. Everyone around me seems to be very low or has a problem. I try to keep an open mind, and a relaxed approach to life but it never seams to pay off. Therefore I might have to go in to my emotion bank and try new ones, just to show to people that I can get pissed off if you push me, because until then I will just have to be constantly shot down for being happy and all round cheery.

Sorry this has been a bit of a low, un-camp, un-homoerotic or a gay phrased post but its not always fun fun fun girlfriends!

Thanks

Jai